Grateful for finding the lesson in disappointment | Escape Haven

Grateful for finding the lesson in disappointment

I’m grateful for some timely advice a friend gave me this week. I have been waiting with baited breath for many months to see if I was going to get accepted into something I wanted SO badly. I can’t remember the last time I wanted anything so much and was convinced I was going to get a place on this programme. I could see it, taste it, visualise it and was busy making travel plans to tie it into my busy work schedule which sees another 2 Surf Haven locations opening this year.

On Friday, the long awaited letter came through and I received the news that I didn’t get in on this intake. However that’s not how I initially read it. I read it as I wasn’t good enough, that I would never be good enough for this programme and that I may as well give up on my dream. I was flooded with self doubt that spanned beyond the programme application. It felt like being rejected from a sports team at school – the clear line running between people that were good enough (big smiles, puffed chests) and those that couldn’t catch a ball and would remain on the side lines (hunched shoulders, sad faces). I was on the (sad face) wrong side, I didn’t want to be on the side lines, I wanted to be playing the game. I couldn’t understand and a few tears of frustration stung my eyes. Then my optimistically naive side kicked in and I consoled myself and waited a few hours thinking that another email was going to come through saying they had made a mistake and got me confused with someone else. Of course the email never came.

I’ve always relied on my resilience and wisdom to enable me to learn and detach, so I was annoyed to go down this rabbit hole of self doubt that consumed me for a while. It took a conversation with one of my besties, Tash, to pull me out and make me look around and see reason and the silver lining/message that this event carried.

She reminded me of the universal laws. ‘Everything happens at exactly the right moment FOR you Jen’. ‘Remember that life is a natural balancer – For everything you lose, you gain something else if you look properly within’. You have a choice to either seek to understand the lesson which can be difficult when it is contained within disappointment, and rejoice, or regret and focus on that letting it hold you back and being tied to the pity cycle. I understood that what was important was separating these things and not allowing them to impact feelings of self worth or ability by seeing it as a reflection of these.

I contemplated this and why that may have happened, why this year wasn’t my time. When I looked at the exciting horizon of my year and the wonderful dreams I was realising, I understood the gift I had been given of time and space, to focus on these. That’s the powerful thing about gratitude – it can pull you out of anything, turn your thoughts, feeling and perspective around. It’s so simple but by the simple act of taking a moment to pause and to focus on what is going right, your perspective is moved to a place of abundance and thankfulness and you fully appreciate that you are not relegated to the sidelines but rather what a wonderful game of YOUR life you are playing after all.

Love Jen xx

Founder, Surf Haven Bali

 

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