Fear is part of what it means to be human. It is one of the emotions that make up the vast spectrum of human behaviour. Fear is actually an essential survival instinct. Throughout history, fear has been linked to our fight or flight response, telling us when to run, when to battle, and when to avoid certain situations that put us in danger. While some fear is therefore helpful and necessary, plenty of our fears in modern-day life are actually completely unfounded. It is these unfounded fears that hold us back from living the life we dream of.
Think back to when you were a teenager or in your twenties. At this age, it is as though we are invincible, nothing at all phases us. As we age, fear tends to arise. Many of these fears stem from a good place: from love. As we gain significant others in our lives, become mothers, develop close-knit friendships, gain jobs that we love – we feel that we have more to lose. As we find more love, joy and success in life, our fears and insecurities tend to rise alongside these positive emotions.
While a healthy dose of caution is good for us, fear and anxiety can be crippling and tend to be increasingly commonplace in the modern world. In a media-saturated society, fear can spread like wildfire with no real justification. The world has changed significantly over the last several decades. We don’t live in the world our parents did. Yet it is important to keep things in perspective and not allow fear to hold us back from following our dreams.
For many women on our Bali retreat, travelling solo, travelling overseas, going on a retreat – these are all things that can create trepidation within us. Taking the leap to come on retreat is an amazing experience, and for many guests, the experience inspires them and reminds them of what they are truly capable of, and how good it feels to move beyond fear, embrace something new and live life fully! Life really does exist just beyond our comfort zones. When we do the things that scare us, we are reminded that many of our fears are unfounded, and we have nothing to gain from living small.
Can you think of something you want to do that fear is holding you back from?! Do you have dreams and goals that have taken a back seat for no good reason?
Read on to discover how to move beyond fear and embrace the life you dream of.
Get Clear on What You Want
The first step is getting really clear on what your dreams or goals are. Maybe you wish to travel but are unsure about going solo. Perhaps you wish to leave your job and start your own business but are worried about financial stability. Maybe you would like to start a family but are unsure about how it will change your life. With any goal we strive for in life, we will come up against obstacles and uncertainty. Learning to lean into the fear and focus on the end goal is scary in itself! Yet only when we push ourselves to take risks, do we discover what we are capable of and that we are indeed able to reach the dreams and goals that we create. Taking time to get clear on what you really want in life (these goals can be short or long-term) is an essential first step to success.
Explore the Fear
Eeek, time to put on your superhero costume! Once you get clear on your goals and dreams, it is time to really look at the fears that are holding you back from reaching them. You may have emotional fears, like opening yourself up to someone and being vulnerable. Your fears may be more practical or financial. Often our fears simply stem from the unknown. We fear what ‘might be’ and create a cacophony of possible scenarios that seem overwhelming and better off avoiding! Make a list of your fears, no matter how big, small or embarrassing (this list is just for you!) Once you have your list, you’re ready for the next step.
Rationalise the Fear
Look at your list of dreams and goals, and the fears you have attached to them. Are they really founded? On a scale of 1-to-10, how likely are these fears to happen or eventuate? Take scuba diving as an example. Perhaps you have always wanted to dive, but you are terrified of sharks. Ask yourself: would a diving company take you diving if a shark attack was possible? Are the sharks you will see even dangerous sharks (most of them are not!) Do your research – how many shark attacks have happened in this part of the world, with a tour company, on organised dive trips? You will come to realise through this exercise that our fears are often completely ludicrous, even if they feel incredibly real and plausible to us at the time. Rationalising the fears can help us to put things into perspective. Perspective is key for letting go of unfounded fear.
Navigate the Blockages
You have your list of dreams and goals, the fears you have associated with them, and you have rationalised the plausibility of the fears. Now it’s time to navigate the blockages. Perhaps your fear of public speaking is holding you back from the promotion you dream of. Make a list of things that you feel could help you approach and overcome this fear. Perhaps you could join a drama club. You could practice talking in front of family and friends. You could volunteer to get involved in a club or event that included meeting new people and doing small talks in front of small groups. You could try Facebook live talks where you are speaking to the world but you can’t see them! Think of all the little steps you can take to work through the fear before you get to the ‘main event.’
Go For It!
Breaking the journey into bite-sized pieces and setting mini-goals along the way is a much easier way to move towards your goals and help you gain the skills and tools you need to really tackle your fear. Along the way, you also realise just how capable you are and that many of the concerns you initially had were indeed unfounded! The more comfortable we get stepping into fear and moving beyond it, the easier it becomes. We gain confidence in ourselves and trust in the world and those around us. Tackling the things that hold us back in life is empowering and liberating, and sets us up for a life fully lived.
Bear in mind that sometimes the fears holding us back from reaching our goals boil down to our own sense of self-worth and self-confidence. These are also areas of your life that you can work on in order to move beyond these limiting beliefs. Often we are the only ones holding ourselves back, and when we realise and accept that, we see that we also have the power to set ourselves free. Allowing ourselves to feel ‘worthy’ or ‘deserving’ of our goals can be a big hurdle for many of us, but an essential one to tackle if we wish to live a life without regrets!
So, when you feel that sense of fear or uncertainty arise when you are thinking about something that you would love to do, go through these steps: what is the fear, is it founded, what are the steps you can take to move through it? In the end, we regret the things we don’t do more than the things we do do in life. Ask yourself “What am I missing out on by letting my fear win?” Think of all you will gain by moving through the fear and reaching that goal!
Are You Ready?!
If travelling overseas, embarking on a wellness retreat, travelling solo, exploring a new location, trying something new, or meeting new people is a goal in your life that you have avoided until now, take the first step! Contact us here to start a conversation about how we can help you reach your dream and tick off one of your bucket list goals. Speaking of bucket list goals, have you heard about our new Bucket List Retreat?! Explore the best of Bali and ignite your spirit with a full week of unbelievable adventures! Find out more about our Bucket List Retreat here.
Your Escape Haven Bali Retreat offers a luxury wellness experience for body, mind and soul
We invite you to experience our award-winning Bali retreat. If it’s time to fill up your cup and reconnect with yourself on a deeper level, we’d love to help you rejuvenate, unwind, reawaken and experience the very best of Bali. Dive into transformational yoga and meditation classes, exhilarating surf lessons in the warm waters of Bali, fun fitness classes and restorative healing sessions. How much or little you do is all up to you.