At our Bali Retreats and through our Virtual Retreat offerings, we see the struggles some of our guests have with self confidence, and how it can stand in the way of them reaching their dreams and the life they were destined for. Below are 7 simple steps we have pulled together that will help you cultivate self confidence. Best thing is, they are things you can put into practice straight away and immediately available to you.
1.Embrace your imperfections.There is perfection in our flaws. They make us unique. It may sound strange, but recognizing these flaws can actually make you come off as more confident. It demonstrates you are comfortable with them and have a growth mindset. An attempt to hide them can be read as insecurity and you are telling yourself you are not enough. Instead of trying to hide your imperfections, try instead to embrace and accept them as part of who you were born to be.
2. Take responsibility. Insecure people tend to make excuses or cover up mistakes. If you’re confident, you know that a mistake or error is not the defining factor of your life as you are constantly growing and evolving. Next time you a mistake, don’t hide it. Try instead, to allow yourself to recognise it, learn from it and try better for next time. This is an example of a growth mindset.
3. Find a mentor. If you want to feel more confident, one way to do this, is to surround yourself with people who are. Seek out someone you admire that is confident and pursuing her dreams with courage. Ask her to help you develop your own sense of confidence and for ways to help you do this. This may be someone at your work, family, social circle or perhaps a coach or mentor you hire, to work with you. What you focus on flourishes, so if you actively pursue this, it will make all the difference.
4. Focus on self care. Self-care should not be something thought of as self-indulgent. The more you focus on filling your cup with self care activities, the more your confidence will flourish. They don’t have to be big things, can be as simple as listening to lovely music and taking an aroma bath after a busy day, watching an engaging podcast for some inspiration or doing a course that helps you boost your wellbeing or eating a nourishing meal. By creating a routine around self care, it becomes a routine and non negotiable which helps bolster those busy times.
5. Exercise regularly. Exercise is good for us and can also boost our sense of self-confidence. If you work out regularly, you will recognise your strengths. By committing to regular exercise, you’ll find yourself looking forward to your daily workout routine and enjoying the benefits on your mind, body and soul.
6. Break free of your comfort zone. No growth happens within your comfort zone. If you want major change in your life, you must step out of your comfort zone, which is where you’ll grow more confident to continue trying new things. You can start with small steps like a new hobby or book and move into bigger things as you confidence grows. Before you know it you will be doing things that you never thought was possible.
7. Be aware of your inner critic. We all have two different voices inside us: one that is a coach, and one that is critical; one that lifts up, and one that brings us down. Both of these voices have a role to play. Our inner coach brings nurturing and encouragement, while the inner critic helps you see where you may have gone wrong.The critical inner voice is born out of painful early life experiences in which we witnessed or experienced hurtful things. As we grow up, we unconsciously adopt and integrate this pattern of destructive thoughts toward ourselves and others. When we fail to identify and separate from this inner critic, we allow it to impact our behavior and shape the direction of our lives. It may sabotage our successes or our relationships, preventing us from living the lives we were destined for. So how can we challenge this inner voice and drown it out?
Well, first of all, acknowledge its not reality. Watch how little thoughts downplay your accomplishments: “Oh, you didn’t deserve that . . . it wasn’t perfect . . . what about the other times when you messed up?” Be aware of disappointment at yourself that seems out of proportion to what happened. Listen inside for what you are saying and recognise patterns. By observing it stops giving the voice power – In other words, you may hear it, but you don’t need to be it. When the inner critic starts going on, tune in to your inner coach instead. This part of yourself is nurturing and encouraging. It’s a major source of confidence and resilience. Starting in early childhood, we develop the inner coach by focussing on positive experience from people that have impacted our ways in uplifting ways – sport coaches, teachers, family members. The more you train your mind to focus on your inner coach the more you will hear it. It will eventually become louder than your inner critic was and will shift your confidence as a result.
If you are interested in developing your confidence and applying some of the tools above under guidance and support of a coach, we invite you to apply to our Inner Circle Membership Programme for our Bali Retreat Alumnae. We’d love to help support you on your journey to confidence and wellness.