Sliding doors, forks in the road and destroying false glass ceilings…
12 years ago whilst at the helm of a large marketing department at our nations biggest retailer, my career was at an all time high. On the outside it looked like I had a wonderful life – I loved my friends, loved where I lived, my job was challenging and rewarding but deep inside I knew it wasn’t making me happy and I decided that I could no longer trade my life for my happiness and this corporate quest for success I had been chasing – burning myself out in the process.
Somewhere along the way I had lost the belief that the world was my oyster, I would scroll with sadness viewing everyone’s A reels on Facebook feeling such a lack with my own life and wondering where I went so off piste. My soul was yearning for a different kind of life – one that was so different than the reality I was leading.
A calling I had felt a few years ago to create a different path and set up womens wellbeing retreats, whilst in Ubud at a yoga resort, had never left me. Sure I had buried it as a crazy notion at the time, but its whispers in those lonely times still reminded me of its promise. Somehow, I had imprisoned myself under a false glass ceiling of what my life should be like. But whose life was I really leading? I felt guilty as if I was departing from something that was a dream of mine since I was a little girl and something that was accepted as the societal norm. The powers of dogma had held me there.
I made a decision to leave the safe harbor where I left my successful corporate career, sold all of my possessions and cashed in my life savings, left my friends, family and country that I loved, to follow the curiosity I had, and the butterflies I felt, for running a business serving women (women’s retreats) in Brazil.
I knew nothing about business, nothing about running a retreat and nothing about living in Brazil. I was 34 years old, single and full of hope and wonder. Something I hadn’t had for many years burning myself out in the corporate arena as I climbed the corporate ladder to fulfill a childhood ambition to be a female CEO.
As I was climbing the corporate ladder nearing the top, it was only there I had the perspective and jarring realization that it was actually leaning against the wrong wall!
Once I made that decision, suddenly I felt alive, like I was stepping into my purpose and could see what the future could look like. One of impact, adventure and freedom. No longer stuck behind a corporate desk answering to faceless shareholders and getting stressed and losing sleep night after night about retail sales and if the marketing my team had created had worked that week or not.
Within a month of that decision I flew to Brazil having sold everything and farewelled those that I loved. Within months of being there I lost almost everything. Even when the business failed before it had begun and despite losing almost my ENTIRE life savings, I knew that my false ceiling had been broken for good when I left my corporate life the first time and despite this failure, I couldn’t go back.
That’s the wonderful thing about comfort zones and limiting beliefs, once they are shattered, they never go back to their former state. You create freedom to move onto bigger, better, more glorious things. Whatever the outcome was, you know you stood up to the plate, you dared to be bold thus revealing to yourself your courage and conviction to do something, in spite of the odds. Your wing strength was built to carry you forward in whatever you go on to pursue.
I knew this as when I left Brazil and ventured back to NZ licking my wounds ready to ‘face the music and the well meaning, ‘I told you so’s’ two major things happened that could have easily anchored me permanently back in my former discontented life. 1. My father lost his battle to cancer and died. 2. I was offered an amazing director role.
It could have been so easy for me to never have experienced this life I am now living. It was my sliding doors moment when I had to choose which fork in the road to choose. I could choose the well beaten path that was expected of me, the safe, stable known route or I could tempt fate, follow my heart and risk it all in a pitch and toss, despite my failure, and go to Bali.
So, I chose my heart, my future self and went to Bali knowing no one, with no place to live a dwindling savings left that would last me just 6 weeks. There was no safety net and no plan b. I never felt so inspired as I did arriving in the hot, chaotic and intense Bali. I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I knew then that I would never return to my former life and corporate identity. I had set fire to that many months before as I stepped into my new self and this new path was ignited.
When I think back to that decision, I’m so grateful for that courageous act of my younger self. What would life be like if I hadn’t created this life that is one of my absolute dreams?
I reflected on things greater than myself and the impact that decision had made –the 8,000 women’s lives I’d positively impacted and influenced through my retreats, the hundreds of staff and their families that had great jobs and got to do what they loved and support their family, the hundreds of dogs and orphans through the charities I set up and ran, meeting my husband at 41, going on to have my two beautiful girls naturally at 42 and 44 and creating this beautiful, magical and blessed life here in Bali. All these events happened after I took a chance to step into the great unknown and answer the calling of my heart that led me to my purpose. It would have been easy to have remained confined under my false glass ceiling, and certainly to have returned to that safety net after the Brazil failure, by letting that wipe out define me.
On our Bali retreats and in our current monthly inner circle wellness membership programme, I see so many women who have dreams living inside them too. Standing at their sliding doors moment, the fork in the road revealed, wandering if they can take that risk and venture out of the safety of their carefully curated harbour. I see so many that risk rejection, failure, the what if’s and the great unknown and follow the calling of their heart leading them on the most incredible trajectories. How do we know what incredible things await us unless we embrace courage and find our wing strength too?
‘We don’t get what we deserve. We get what we believe we deserve’
You see, we all have unrealised dreams living inside us. Those things we know would be good for us, those lives that we dream of yet haven’t fulfilled. What holds us back from reaching these are the glass ceilings or the limits we shackle ourselves with. But what if those limits were imaginary and just figments of our imagination and our ability was far greater than we ever gave ourselves credit for? What if we were more powerful than beyond our comprehension.
‘You are more powerful than you think’
Wouldn’t that be sad to come to the end of our lives and realise we never rose to our full brilliance and our potent potential was buried with us – the alternative reality of our life could have been one of magnificence, supreme joy and realising limitless potential but we had stood in our way of meeting this destiny? Believe in yourself and your abilities. Trust that you have everything you need to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and courage. Embrace your unique talents, skills, and gifts, knowing that they are the keys to unlocking your fullest potential.
“Living the same week a few thousand times and calling it a life. I need to tell you that too many among us die at thirty and are buried at eighty.” Robin Sharma 5am Club
This poem by Napolean Hill a success guru from the 1800’s, was a powerful motivator for my impressionable teenage eyes when it was shared with me back in my late teenage years. His simple yet profound words that echo this thought about our life being what we ask for and what we are prepared to exchange for, that makes the difference. This has helped me take many leaps including that one.
I bargained with life for a penny,
and life would pay no more,
However I begged at evening
when I counted my scanty store.
For life is a just employer,
he gives you what you ask,
But once you have set the wages,
why, you must bear the task.
I worked for a menial’s hire,
only to learn, dismayed,
That any wage I had asked of Life,
Life would have willingly paid
Have you ever tested the false glass ceilings you have created around yourself and understood if what you asked of life was in line with your dreams, your potential and your gifts? Is it something you have even thought about? The idea that there are self imposed limits that you have created for yourself based upon limitations you believe to be true? Where do these limits come from?
‘We learn our belief systems as very little children, and then we move through life creating experiences to match our beliefs. Look back in your own life and notice how often you have gone through the same experience.’– Louise L. Hay
Perhaps you were told as a child, you’re not creative or don’t have a head for numbers, or maybe after a heart shattering break up, you thought it was easier to be on your own or maybe, you didn’t get the job you wanted so you stayed in one you didn’t love, thinking that was all you should ask for or you believe deep down that you aren’t worthy of greatness and a fear of belonging keeps you trapped in an existence that is beneath your alternative genius, incredible future self.
“Limitation is nothing more than a mentality that too many good people practice daily until they believe it’s reality.”
When we have a limiting belief and build this false reality and limits around it, we then look for any proof that will reinforce that belief is true. We can be very persuasive in our arguments to support these limits as when the lense that we look at life through has already been set for rejection, fear, safety, scarcity, judgement – that is how we perceive experiences and see the world and thus that indeed becomes our life. We become a prisoner trapped within the construct of a false, small world that we are a citizen of.
How often have we created false glass ceilings that have protected us from venturing into the unknown in search of our full potential, our primal brilliance and discovering our greatest gifts?
Where were those sliding doors moments that were the difference between us stepping into our unique genius and those where we chose the safe route, and stayed in the calm harbour not realising our potential.
What could life have been like if we had followed our courage, tested if the limits we had imposed on ourselves were in fact true?
You see, we believe anything we tell ourselves. That’s the nature of how our brains are wired.
‘what we believe, we become’.
Anything we say often enough, becomes our reality. So, if that’s the case and we can change our destiny merely by believing we can, then how can we work on this self-belief to alter our false reality and stop playing small and safe? The empowering thing about this, is we build these ceilings so we can destroy them too!
False ceilings hold us back from trying something new, going after a promotion, re entering the dating arena after a break up or generally going for something we really want to achieve.
Who wants to get to the end of their life knowing they took the safe route? Staying in the shallow water, close to the shore never experiencing the true magnificent voyage of their heart out in the beautiful, exciting and limitless ocean of their life? Visiting foreign lands, taking courageous passages and experiencing amazing journey’s.
‘Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life because you become what you believe’ Oprah Winfrey
If you like this, you will love my monthly wellness coaching membership programme called Inner Circle. I’d love to help you reach your potential and create the life of your dreams. For a limited time we have 50% off. You can try it for a month here.
Stay tuned for my next blog in this inspiration series that will take you through some of the biggest learnings and tools I experienced when I went on to make this change and fulfil my purpose.
Janine (Jen) x
EH Founder