As part of our Bali Retreat,
Escape Haven Inner Circle Community, we are discussing Boundaries this month. In this blog, we talk specifically about how to have a conversation about boundaries. Fear of this is often what stops women from establishing healthy boundaries for themselves.
Below we explore, 5 tips that will help set you up for a successful conversation that you may have been avoiding.
You may believe that life is simpler if you say yes often or its better to be compliant and not make a fuss. (Even for things that matter). But it’s actually more about lacking personal boundaries when we do this, and at the end of the day, doing this often can have a major impact on your health, sleep and self esteem.
Sometimes, its about choosing the hard road that gets much easier, by stepping up and having that conversation you have been putting off. When you value yourself, and set boundaries, you teach others to do the same.
You become less complicated and easier to understand. You also are far more aligned to your own intuition and know what is right for you. When we people please and have weak boundaries we end up losing sight of what actually makes us happy and where our line in the sand is.
By having clear boundaires and communicating them, you open yourself up for mature, drama free relationships and life becomes a lot more easier. You often have a lot more time on your hands to dedicate to the things that matter as you aren’t at the mercy of others agendas.
So, if you are thinking of having a boundary conversation, here are my 5 top tips for setting yourself up for success that we often advise our Bali retreat guests use when they return home.
Imagine the feelings of satisfaction that lie on the other side of this? The more you do this, the easier it becomes and the greater your quality of life will be.
1. Be Grounded and Confident
If you can’t do this authentically, then fake it till you make it! Visualise yourself having that boundary conversation. Feel how good it is being able to clearly articulate your point and the other person understanding. By mentally rehearsing something first, your brain is tricked into thinking this is a reality so you start to feel better about the situation. When its time for that conversation, you are already half way there and embody that confidence.
2. Meditate prior
Even just a few minutes focussing on one of Frankie’s meditations at our Bali retreat, will allow you to drop into your rest and digest mode which will make you feel relaxed and communicate from a centred place.
3. Be Direct
Use direct, clear language that shows certainty and clarity. Remove the fluff and need to explain.
4. Don’t Justify Yourself or Give Excuses.
As soon as you start defending your actions, you open up for a debate and willing the other person to talk you out of your point of view. Keep in control of the conversation.
5. Body language is everything
So many of our communication cues come from what we
don’t say. Make sure your non verbal cues are reflecting what you are saying. Don’t shift around a lot, or cower your shoulders or use a small quiet voice. You will be seen as not owning what you are saying. Instead, stand tall, shoulders back, speak up.
I hope this helps ladies. Let me know what resonated most in the comments below.
Janine (Jen)
Escape Haven Founder
www.escapehaven.com
