Love being in control all the time? There are so many beautiful benefits that come with letting go and being able to surrender…
Earlier this year, my husband introduced a ‘date night’ for us each week. He would choose the location, he would make the arrangements, and then I would simply be ready to go and allow him to take me out for a special evening. Sounds lovely, right?! Well, let me tell you, as someone who is used to being in control and feels safe and comfortable being in control, I realised that I found this weekly gift quite challenging in the beginning.
I would subtly try and pry out little details of what he had planned that week and it was really interesting for me to accept how difficult this was for me!
Within a few weeks though, I eagerly anticipated our date night. Of course, every week I was delighted with the care and thought that my husband had put into the evening. I quickly began to love the weekly surprise and the spontaneity of the night reminded me of the joys of simply being in the moment and not trying to plan or control or dictate it. It was so liberating and freeing, and in an unexpected way I felt empowered- empowered to simply let go, trust and enjoy the journey.
On retreat, we welcome so many women that are ‘Type A’ personalities, or like to be in control in their daily lives. Of course, as women, we are often so used to running the show, calling the shots, making the zillion of decisions that need to be made daily- either just for ourselves or our families too.
It can certainly take a few days for women to ‘loosen the reins’ and really slip into retreat mode comfortably. In many ways, it is against our very nature to let go and surrender yet as I have found with date nights, there is so much beauty and magic there when you can get beyond the initial resistance.
I love to see this letting go as a strength because there really is so much growth, transformation and openness that comes when we can embrace these beautiful feminine qualities of surrender.
Here’s a few benefits that I have personally discovered through the art of letting go of control:
Trust
Of course, surrender requires trust. You can’t expect to feel comfortable letting go if you don’t feel as though you are in safe hands. When you establish that trust though, being able to let go only serves to strengthen this trust. You discover that you have unwavering support systems around you and that you don’t need to carry the load alone. You also don’t need to micromanage everything or hold yourself back from situations from fear of not being in control.
Openness
Being able to let go means being able to open up. As women we can become pro’s at holding our emotions in and bottling everything up, showing the world our poker face rather than what’s really going on inside. When we feel safe to open up and be unapologetically honest with other people, those relationships take on so much depth and richness. Being open with others ignites such a sense of personal freedom. You’ll discover that letting go and sharing from the heart also gives other people around you permission to do the same.
Presence
One of the things about constantly being in control is that you don’t have any surprises! You are constantly thinking and planning ahead, or looking into the past and agonising over how you could have done things differently! Letting go of control and allowing other people you trust to organise and manage plans enables you to completely be in the moment. Life feels spontaneous and exciting! You appreciate the little details as you are entirely in the moment. This is such a gift in and of itself.
Maybe those benefits sound intriguing and appealing to you? But where to start?
If you’re anything like me at the start of our date night adventure, I felt so much resistance that I thought I wouldnt be able to enjoy myself. I contemplated just taking over control so then I could ‘relax!’ You need to be open to moving through the initial discomfort. It gets easier, trust me! Here are a few tips for where to begin:
Start small
Start off with baby steps. Ask a friend to make a plan for you to catch up and be entirely trusting of them setting up all the details. Maybe make this a weekly occurrence and make a pact to try a new place or new activity each week.
Practice awareness
If/when you feel anxiety or frustration sneaking up on you, simply acknowledge this. Feel into where it is coming from and what is really making you feel uncomfortable. Maybe journal these emotions or talk them aloud with someone you trust. Being in control means feeling safe. Placing that control in the hands of others is bound to feel scary at first, we feel untethered. Just become aware of the feelings that arise is the first step in meeting them.
Breathe
Yes, good old breathing. This really helped me at first with our date nights. When I would feel the emotions rising, I would simply acknowledge them and breathe into them. Doing anything new is bound to bump up our heart rate and spark little tummy butterflies- this isn’t a bad thing! If we get into a habit of resisting anything that makes us uncomfortable, then we never grow or transform. We get stuck and stagnant and life becomes pretty dull! So, when you feel the influx of emotions that come with trying something new or being out of your comfort zone, just breathe into them and tell your nervous system everything is ok.
Keep going
Don’t turn back! Well, obviously if you feel seriously concerned for your wellbeing, you can press pause! Generally though, this is a case of ‘feel the fear and go for it!’ Like anything in life, as soon as we do something we’re scared of once- like public speaking, going on a retreat, travelling solo, starting a new job etc- it becomes easier and easier. Letting go and practising surrender takes practice. Think of all the great benefits though and how much you will gain from going forwards. I promise as soon as you get through the initial discomfort, you’ll wonder why you didn’t nudge control to the backseat more frequently a long time ago!
On our Bali yoga retreat, I often see this battle play out in women as they want to let go and simply embrace the retreat journey, but they are still clinging tightly to their habitual ways of being the one who leads. Rest assured, you are always in control of your decisions on your luxury retreat! Nothing is mandatory or compulsory and everything is optional. It’s more about getting the most out of the retreat by being able to open up, trust and let go.
Here’s some examples of how the act of surrender can deepen and amplify your Bali retreat benefits:
Relax into spa treatments
While the idea of unlimited spa is so appealing to our female guests, it can also feel challenging to surrender and relinquish control! Spa treatments, especially things like massage, can make us feel vulnerable. Yet laying on the massage table feeling tense and with your mind racing is not the best state to really enjoy a massage or bask in the benefits! Being able to completely trust your qualified, experienced and nurturing spa therapist enables you to find the real ‘bliss zone’ and relax completely. Once you can fully surrender, we guarantee you’ll leave each spa treatment floating on cloud 9. The key is to let go of the mental chatter, know you are in the best of hands, and allow yourself to enjoy every moment- because you deserve it.
Connect deeply with other women
Unfortunately in daily life, we can feel a need to compare ourselves to other women or we get used to judging others or feeling judged through social media. Turning up on retreat and being surrounded by a group of women you’ve never met before can feel intimidating for some guests. Luckily, the women that join us on a Bali retreat at Escape Haven are incredibly lovely and welcoming. Women come from all walks of life, yet there are always shared bonds and connections that form right away. Being able to show up exactly as yourself, without any barriers up, in a place of trust and openness, means you will get so much more out of these special relationships. It can feel scary to open up to strangers, yet I promise you, openness and vulnerability make for the best conversations, the best friendships and the biggest transformations- so don’t hold back.
Enjoy every new meal and experience
As women it’s common to feel in control of our food choices on a daily basis. Handing over control, not knowing what you’re going to be eating and even not preparing food yourself can feel unnerving for some women. On your wellness retreat, our qualified holistic chefs are professionals when it comes to creating meals that are as good for you as they are delicious. We also cater to all dietary needs to ensure you can really sit back, enjoy your meal and know it was made especially for you. Being able to let go of any ‘restrictions’ you have around meals and really embrace trying new foods, experiencing new flavours, sharing meals with others and allowing yourself to be cooked for is such a beautiful experience. Food is always a highlight of retreat and a great opportunity for women to relax, enjoy themselves and know they are being truly taken care of.
Follow your bliss and intuition
We often have women on their Bali retreat that jam-pack their schedules with back to back activities for the whole week. It only takes a day or so on retreat for them to loosen the reins and feel the alluring tug of retreat mode kicking in! You are always invited to do as much or as little as you like on retreat. All we encourage you to do is feel into what you want to do, not what you think you should do. Coming from the hustle of a go-go-go daily routine, it can be hard for us as women to simply surrender and just be. Yet there are so many benefits and so much magic that comes from just allowing yourself to relax, unwind and feel into what you need. You’ll certainly get the most out of your week if you surrender to the flow rather than fight against it! Want to skip morning yoga and sleep in? Do it. Feeling energised and want to climb a volcano- do it! Its all about following your bliss.
Letting go and surrendering isn’t about relinquishing your power or playing small.
Learning how to trust, open up and be fully present without having to control every situation is incredibly freeing. Allow yourself some flexibility and hand over the reins from time to time. Let go of needing to plan every second of your day and experience all the benefits, thrills, nourishment and joy that comes from life leading you.
A luxury wellness retreat is the perfect place to start to let go of control and feel all the benefits of surrender!
