The Luxury of Not Deciding: Why Your Mind Feels Tired
A couple of weeks ago, one of our guests said something I haven’t stopped thinking about.
She was sitting by the pool, maybe day three or four into her stay, and she said,
“I didn’t realise how tired my brain was.”
Not her body. Her brain!
She wasn’t burnt out in the way people usually describe it.
She still had energy. She was exercising, working, doing everything she needed to do.
But there was something underneath it all.
A constant low hum of thinking or what we refer to often as Decision Fatigue.
What needs to be done.
What she’s forgotten.
What’s coming up next.
That constant chatter of the monkey mind.
And it’s something we see all the time.
Women arrive and at first, they’re still in that rhythm.
They ask a lot of questions. They change things frequently.
They want to know what time everything is, what they should do, what comes next during their time at Escape Haven.
I think its because they are just so used to being the one who holds everything together and being in push mode constantly. So they feel its foreign to let something else do the thinking for them and take an actual brain break.
It usually takes a couple of days.
Then something shifts that we see.
You can almost see the moment it happens.
They realise they don’t need to organise anything here.
The day is already taken care of.
Meals arrive.
Treatments are scheduled.
Someone gently lets them know where to go next.
There’s nothing to figure out apart from the fun stuff like what pancakes to have, whether to finish that book or go to pilates, what spa treatment should be next!
And that’s when their whole body changes.
They sit differently.
They move more slowly.
They stop reaching for their phone and laughter and joy bubbles up inside them.
We notice conversations start to change too.
They’re not talking about what needs to happen next.
They’re talking about ideas.
Things they’ve been wanting to do.
Parts of themselves they haven’t felt connected to in a while.
By the end of the week, we hear the same thing again and again.
“I feel so clear.”
“I haven’t had this many ideas in years.”
“I feel like myself again.”
It’s because they’ve had a break from holding everything and that’s created space in their mind for clarity and creativity.
Freedom from making decisions.
From thinking ahead.
From quietly managing all the moving parts of their life.
And I think that’s the part we don’t always recognise.
How much energy goes into thinking and being the one that’s always on top of everything!
Even when life looks calm from the outside, that mental load is still there running in the background.
So when it finally lifts, even just for a few days, wonderful things open up.
Clarity comes back.
Energy feels different.
Ideas start to flow again.
I’ve been mulling on this recently and thinking – maybe that’s what luxury looks like now.
Not more choice or more to do.
Just a few week where you don’t have to think about anything.
Where someone else is holding the details and doing the thinking, planning and curating for you.
And your mind finally has room to breathe.
If this feels familiar, you don’t have to wait until you’re completely exhausted.
Even small things can help.
Letting go of a few decisions.
Writing things down instead of carrying them.
Giving yourself moments where nothing is being asked of you.
And when you’re ready for a week where you don’t have to hold it all, we’re here for you.
