Why creating space is where change begins

One of the things I’ve noticed over the years of running retreats is how quickly women unwind when they arrive.

This isn’t because anything dramatic happens at the start of their week. It’s because, often for the first time in a long time, there’s actually space thats been created..

No decisions about what’s for dinner, no constant notifications, and no rushing from one thing to the next. No decision fatigue or overwhelm. Just them floating from one thing to the next. And within a day or two, they feel this space. You can see it in their face, in how they move, and how they speak. What’s always been interesting to me is that nothing new has been added. We haven’t “fixed” anything. We’ve simply taken things away. And that’s often the part we miss at home. We try to change by adding more to our plate instead of taking things away. We load up on more habits, more routines, and more things to get right, then get frustrated when they don’t stick.

But without space, there’s nowhere for that change to sit. Your mind can only hold so much. When it’s full, everything defaults to what’s familiar.

So before anything can shift, there needs to be space for it.